Delightfully suprising at every turn, a trip to Bhutan is never short of an adventure If anyone had told me a few years ago that I would be driven around a beautiful country by a movie star who shared my penchant for hip-hop bhangra music, I’d have told them to go take a hike. But after taking a few hikes myself around the Happy Kingdom, I feel truly blessed for the unique experience — and not just by a couple of wooden phalluses at the Temple of the Divine Mad Monk Drukpa Kuenley. That’s Bhutan for you — unassumingly glamorous and breathtakingly surprising at every turn. The country offers almost no spur-of-the-moment backpacking options, and all trips must be planned in advance. It’s pretty good to be Indian as there is no visa requirement and the entry fee is the envy of other foreign travellers. Indians can also get permits to drive in via the Indian border town of Jaigaon, and if you’re a Bollywood buff most doors will open for you automatically anyway, exemplified by this excited query in chaste Hindi from a chubby boy, “Oh you’re from India! When do you suppose the new Salman movie will be out?” Bollywood movies double as Hindi tutorials and Salman Khan and Madhuri Dixit share the top spot, cutting across generations. Paperwork sorted, we chose to fly into Paro — the country’s only international airport. As our Druk Air plane approached the runway at Paro, my heart skipped a beat and not just because the left wing almost brushed past the lush mountains. The airport itself exemplifies the country’s breathtaking simplicity, being smack dab in the middle of the Paro Valley. As Tshering — our gho (traditional wraparound dress for males) clad driver drove us to our hotel, a faded Jim Morrison poster winked at me from behind one of the barred kirana stores amid all the touristy trinket joints. Bhutanese kirana stores, I later discovered, are a class apart. Run mostly by women, in a traditionally matriarchal society with what we would call ghar jamais, they double as mini-bars by default — selling everything from teddy bears to Barbie rip-offs, shiny slippers and groceries, with enough space to squeeze in four stools, a carrom board and a mini drinking table. Druk 11,000 is the poison of choice, topping our strongest Haywards by a good thousand volts. But sadly, for foodies like me, local Bhutan doesn’t offer much choice in cuisine, so it’s best to make your peace with the Datsi family. Ema Datsi (potatoes and cheese) and Kewa Datsi (fiery chillies in cheese) are the omnipresent accompaniments to any self-respecting Bhutanese meal, with Shamu Datsi (mushrooms and cheese) putting in a cameo. For the rest of the time you’ll probably be playing hide-and-seek with a variety of Indian and Chinese spin-offs, and some excellent beef if you’re lucky. Do try the local red rice with your cheesy meal and wash down the chillies with a bottle of Druk lager. The drive from Paro to Thimphu is a beautiful one, where you can catch a glimpse of the as-yet-unfinished giant Buddha statue perched atop a mountain. There’s nothing much to do in either city, but the outskirts of both Thimphu and Paro offer (literally) breathtakingly beautiful hiking trails for those seeking some green silence and gurgling streams. The lazy can head out to the BBS tower — the dating hotspot, we were told — that has some splendid views of Thimphu town, and pay an en-route visit to the national animal of Bhutan — the Takin, a strange, mutant-like cross between a goat and a cow. We did venture out to the locally-recommended Om Bar that bravely represents the city’s nightlife, if you can look past the dismally painted room and whitechalked entryway. Interestingly, the well-known bar came with a homely bartender in sweats and chappals, chewing on a chunk of dried yak cheese while mixing music from a desktop PC. September is the holiest month in the Bhutanese calendar, with unique Tsechu festivities in each town. It is an amazing burst of colour and religious fervour, when cars are cheaper, tailors are busy and the market is happy — much like an Indian October. Vishwakarma Puja is huge in Bhutan, with all vehicles from mopeds to tankers decked out in bunting and balloons. Anyone travelling to Bhutan must definitely make time to see Bhutan’s most feted landmark: Taktshang or the Tiger’s Nest monastery that almost seems to hang on a cloud. I set out bravely at the crack of dawn and my lack of fitness nearly killed a perfectly healthy Bhutanese pony as I sought my personal Mordor. But the first glimpse of the monastery majestically suspended about 10,000 feet above sea level left me misty-eyed at the sheer joy of being alive, though the steep steps up and down the mountain till the monastery brought on tears of another kind. That’s the thing: Bhutan will make you earn each pleasure. Be prepared to walk to almost any place worth visiting. Like Chimi Lakhang — the Temple of Bhutan’s most loved Divine Mad Monk, with his refreshing ideas on life and love, en route to Punakha and Gangtey. You’ll have to trek through mounds of mud, golden wheat fields and crude water channels, perhaps even dodge the arrows of local archery enthusiasts to get to this must-see monastery. With Drukpa Kuenley worshipped as a fertility god of sorts — not least because of his hedonistic and promiscuous lifestyle — phallic art adorns the boundary walls of every home in this village. You can see fertility symbols peeking from window frames, with phalluses doubling as door handles, soap dishes and towel pegs! It’s a much-feted sanctum of hope for childless couples. Don’t forget to pack some full-sleeved and collared shirts, if you’re visiting the dzongs. A cranky old guard refused to make any concession for the fact that we had travelled all the way from India, and climbed an obscene number of steps, denying us entry in our touristy t-shirts. Between Thimphu and Punakha lies the Dochu La pass, with its 108 chortens that were built in 2003 to honour those who laid down their lives while flushing out Indian insurgents from southern Bhutan. The mist envelopes these stupas like the souls of the departed. From there we drove to Punakha, which hosts the most beautiful Dzong (fort) on the banks of the Tsang Chu River — the recent venue for the fairytale royal wedding. From there we made our way to the famous Gangtey Gompa (monastery) and the Phobjikha Valley, the unmistakable Switzerland of Bhutan — with a night stop at the fabulous Punatsangchu Cottages at Wangdue on the banks of the hypnotic Tsang Chu River. We were too early for the famous black-necked cranes but do catch these migratory birds during October- February if you can. The Dewachen Hotel’s the place to stay at Gangtey — the budget cousin of Bhutan’s prettiest property, Paro’s luxurious Zhiwa Ling — with sweeping views of the Phobjikha valley and oldfashioned bukharis to keep you warm. In the end, Bhutan’s real treasure is its people, with their matchless charm and humility, as exemplified by our very own driver-cum-guide, Tshering. We noticed that he got a lot of waves and hoots from people everywhere we went, automatically chalking it up to the extreme friendliness of a country that has a Gross National Happiness Index. Only to switch to a local Bhutanese television station and discover that our companion with his immaculately polished dress shoes just happened to be a very popular movie and soap star, with a number of lead roles under his belt! So, not unlike the cherished screen appearances of a popular superstar, Bhutan definitely leaves you wanting more.