Cheap travel, food and oodles of appeal—there is more to Bangkok than meets the eye Tell anyone you are going to Thailand and chances are you would get some lewd and leery looks, with comments to match. That’s a cross that the country bears, nay brandishes, with relish. For Thailand is best known as the kingdom of sleaze, a fact that often overwhelms the other charms that the country has to offer. It is also one of the most popular holiday destinations for Indians, given the ease and proximity of travel, the option of a visa on arrival and the fact that the Indian currency goes a long way there. I decided to limit my first trip to Phuket and Bangkok—one for the beaches and the other for what no woman can resist—shopping. There are no direct flights to Phuket, and both Thai Airways and Air Asia offer various daily options. From Phuket, speed boats and ferries can take you to Phi Phi Island and the beach made famous by Leonardo Di Caprio’s movie of the same name, if you wish to get even further away from the bustle of it all. A lot of us in India have become so used to including all our Southeastern neighbours in that group called the ‘developing countries’ that my first impression of Thailand left me quite surprised. So even if the taxi guy made me feel very much at home by refusing to use his meter and demanding an exorbitant sum to take me to the hotel, the drive itself revealed clean roads, orderly traffic, visible road signs and none of the chaos that you would associate with what was long called the ‘Third World’. Thailand can put India to shame as far as basic civic sense is concerned. Garbage is neatly collected, and even though it is no Singapore, the fact that the government has decided to co-opt street vendors into sharing the tourism boom by allowing them to peddle their wares in almost every nook and cranny, has ensured that you can dig into a baby sea horse or a fresh watermelon slice with wild abandon. Talking of baby sea horses, and this being my first trip to the exotic Far-east, sometimes it was difficult not to gag at the choices on offer in the various carts that line the streets and beach fronts. From fried centipedes to crispy grasshoppers, strange culinary delights lie neatly arranged in carts and trays, with some spicy accompaniments to go. Thankfully, every Thai meal is loaded with vegetables and, contrary to what one might expect, vegetarians are happy people here. That said, even though Thailand is crawling with tourists all year round, if you wish to hold a conversation that goes beyond “how much” and basic pleasantries, you have your task cut out for you. You are pleasantly greeted everywhere with the traditional Thai greeting Sawasdee Kha (or Khap, if the person offering the greeting is a man), uttered with musically- extended syllables. English spelling is definitely not their forte and shops proudly display signs for ‘chikin’ refusing to use his meter and demanding an exorbitant sum to take me to the hotel, the drive itself revealed clean roads, orderly traffic, visible road signs and none of the chaos that you would associate with what was long called the ‘Third World’. Thailand can put India to shame as far as basic civic sense is concerned. Garbage is neatly collected, and even though it is no Singapore, the fact that the government has decided to co-opt street vendors into sharing the tourism boom by allowing them to peddle their wares in almost every nook and cranny, has ensured that you can dig into a baby sea horse or a fresh watermelon slice with wild abandon. Talking of baby sea horses, and this being my first trip to the exotic Far-east, sometimes it was difficult not to gag at the choices on offer in the various carts that line the streets and beach fronts. From fried centipedes to crispy grasshoppers, strange culinary delights lie neatly arranged in carts and trays, with some spicy accompaniments to go. Thankfully, every Thai meal is loaded with vegetables and, contrary to what one might expect, vegetarians are happy people here. That said, even though Thailand is crawling with tourists all year round, if you wish to hold a conversation that goes beyond “how much” and basic pleasantries, you have your task cut out for you. You are pleasantly greeted everywhere with the traditional Thai greeting Sawasdee Kha (or Khap, if the person offering the greeting is a man), uttered with musically- extended syllables. English spelling is definitely not their forte and shops proudly display signs for ‘chikin’ But the cheap beer is wonderfully real, and is also served in convenient five-litre beer towers for the discerning drinker. Ask for a pint, and they’ll serve it to you in a ‘beer condom’, that fits snugly over the bottom of the bottle. Chang is the local brand and the best way to enjoy it is with steaming hot skewers that are charcoal grilled on small improvised scooter carts. Patong beach in Phuket—with its buttery soft sands—borders the bustling shopping area. It changes moods as the sun goes down, transforming itself into a nocturnal hub, offering everything from pole dances to some mind-boggling circus tricks performed by women in various stages of undress in ‘ping-pong bars’ that are a local variation of the go-go clubs of yore. Also unique to Thailand are the ‘ladyboys’, scores of men who have opted to cross over the gender divide, and many of whom work in regular jobs, while others can be found jostling with the crowds in stunning dresses and impossibly high heels. The sad part is that a nation that seems to have made smiling its national motto of sorts, masks disturbing socio-cultural trends, given that it is considered rather synonymous with sleaze. You see the obsession with it everywhere, from massage parlours that are open through the night and only accept male clients to carts selling every imaginable sex aid and performance enhancer’ possible, to girls as young as 13 or 14 teetering precariously in high heels or wielding numbers in a bar, as if up for a macabre auction. This, despite the fact that prostitution in Thailand is actually illegal! It’s difficult to remember that when standing in a bar where bikini-clad women bear numbers to be easily selected and whisked away from nightclubs by paying what is called a ‘bar fine’. There’s more of the same in Bangkok, with the famous ‘Cowboy Street’ in Sukhamvit and the redlight district of Patpong, which is also a great place to get some knock-offs at a bargain during the night market. Bangkok is a shoppers’ paradise, with malls that tempt you with their wholesale approach, where floors and floors are lined with imitation handbags, jewellery and designer clothes designed to reward the generous shopper with bulk rates. It’s easy to lose track of the bahts (Thai currency) in your wallet. The traffic in Bangkok is merciless, with jams that would put Mumbai or Delhi to shame. But hop into a ‘tuktuk’— Thailand’s answer to our auto rickshaws—and chances are you’ll beat a car to the same destination by half an hour! They’re not for the fainthearted as they weave in and out of traffic, making a mockery of speed limits and small engines. Bangkok is also home to some of the most beautiful Buddhist art and sculptures, which are tributes to different periods and styles. There is the magnificent and awe-inspiring ‘Reclining Buddha’—a majestic 160 feet statue at Wat Pho temple; the diminutive ‘Emerald Buddha’ at the Grand Palace and the ‘Golden Buddha’ at Wat Traimit that was legendarily plastered over and then accidently discovered to be made of gold almost two centuries later. If you do take the day-long Buddha tour, don’t forget to stop at the vibrant flower market near Chinatown and the even more famous floating market in the Ratchaburi Province. When you travel around Thailand, you can’t help noticing that the King’s picture is on billboards everywhere, playing the saxophone and doing countless other ‘cool’ things you’re less likely to see politicians in India publicise. In fact, when I commented to one of my guides that the Thais sure liked their King, she was quick to correct me and point out that the word I was looking for was ‘love’. The pride of the people in a monarchy they love is palpable in the pride they take in being Thais, no matter what their socio-economic strata. That, to me, was the most beautiful thing about Thailand, visible in the care that its people take to make sure you’re made to feel so welcome.