A boxing champion, a doting mother, a loving wife and a woman of substance. Meet Mary Kom, India’s Million Dollar Baby

There is a scene in Clint Eastwood’s Million Dollar Baby, where Maggie’s (Hillary Swank) mother asks her to quit boxing and do something more suited for a woman. Maggie simply tells her mother that boxing is what she likes and knows best and shall do it till she can. Maggie might have been a fictional character, but her story could not have been more real. When our own Million Dollar Baby told her parents about her decision of becoming a boxer, their reaction was: What if you get disfigured? Who will marry you? One look at the recent Tag Heuer commercial and you know that her mother’s fears completely unfound. The magnificent Mary is grace personified, and looks splendid in that commercial. This beauty only increases when beads of sweat adorn her face after a gloriously won boxing match. The idea of a woman becoming masculine because of the ‘manly’ sport is something that Kom does not understand. When asked if she ever has been tagged as a masculine woman, she laughs and asks, “I do not think it applies to me, does it? I thought I was quite feminine!” She also believes that “men and women are equal and physical strength is probably the silliest standard or marker to judge women against men”. Coming from such a school of thought, it is no wonder that Kom did not listen to her mother and did not give in. Like every other great story, this one too has many twists and turns, ups and downs. But then, what good is a story without a bit of a drama? When Kom started training for boxing at the age of 15, she did not inform anyone in her family. She knew that she would not be granted her wish, and thought it was best to hide it from her parents and her three siblings. In the Kom household, while boxing was not considered a sport, athletics was given a lot of importance. So Kom informed her parents that she was training to be in athletics. They happily let her go. However, truth has a way of sneaking in when you least expect it; one morning, Kom’s father was surprised to find his daughter’s picture in the newspaper. It was taken after she won the Manipur State Boxing Championship. After confronting Kom on the subject, she finally told them, and managed over a period of time to convince them. It is not too far from the truth that today they are the proudest set of parents in the country. After the Olympic Bronze, Kom became a household name. When she apologised to people back home for not winning the Gold, she managed to induce a few tears. When she came back, she was received with great love and admiration. Some said she is a role model, and some called her an inspiration. It is said that the road to success is seldom smooth. Kom knows it more than anyone else. Born in an economically weak family of Manipur, life was nothing short of a struggle. Each day, the parents worked hard to make ends meet. But they understood the importance of education and made sure that all four children went to school. Talking about her growing up years, Kom informs us that “[They] were difficult as we were very poor. I had to go to school, take care of my siblings, help my parents in the fields and still find time to study and train for sports.” Perhaps it was this everyday brush with poverty that made her the person she is today—disarmingly modest, humble to the core and absolutely genuine. So far in the conversation Kom has told us a lot, answering all questions as candidly as she can. But the one question that begs to be asked is: why boxing? How did she become interested in a sport which India barely notices? She tells us that the reason behind her interest was another boxer, who hailed from the same region—Dingko Singh. In the year 1998, Singh won the Gold at the Asian Games, and became a star overnight. Kom was in her teens and was awestruck by the way Singh was felicitated. “What inspired me to take up boxing was Dingko Singh’s performance at the Asian Games. He was given a hero’s welcome after that,” says Kom. “That was very inspirational for me and made me think of boxing as a possible future,” she adds. Such was the impact that Kom started training that very year. Other than Singh, Kom considers Muhammad Ali to be her inspiration. But then it is difficult to a find a pugilist who has not been touched by the magic that is Ali. Like her inspirations, Kom, too, is a fighter; she has fought injuries and bounced back to form. It was during the World Championships in 2006 when she fell severely ill during the finals. The match had to be stopped in the second round. After this, Kom took a two-year break. However, keeping away from one’s passion for too long is easier said that done. If records are to be believed, it did her more good than bad. Upon her return, she won a Silver at the Asian Women’s Boxing Championships, a Gold at AIBA Women’s World Boxing Championships and another Gold at the 2009 Asian Indoor Games. While medals and accolades were coming her way, the one thing which is considered to be the Mecca for any sportsperson— the Olympics—was a far cry. Till the 2012 Games, women’s boxing as a sport was not featured in the Olympics. Therefore, when they added boxing to the list, Kom knew what she had to do. Despite the fact that she had won several medals in the 48 and 46KG category, the Olympic rules meant that she had to gain weight. Kom now had to fight in the 51KG category and win a few fights to be a part of the Olympics team. Thus began a rigorous training regime in which she sweated for eight hours every day, in the morning and evening. The little time in between was spent with her family. Even that became impossible towards the end, when she had to be training away from her twins and her husband for almost 12 weeks, which she calls “a lifetime”. Then arrived the final moment. The Olympic glory came in the form of a well-deserved Bronze. This was no mean feat since Kom was fighting in a higher category— an unknown territory. But Kom does not believe in backing off. This time was no different. The life of any sportsperson involves travelling and being away from the family most of the time. So how does her husband cope with situations when he has to be the primary care giver of the family? If you like a love story with a strong hero, then read on. Kom met her husband Onler in Delhi in 2001, fell in love and married him on March 12, 2005. “Ours was a love marriage. He is my friend, philosopher and guide; my pillar of strength,” says Kom. Often when one partner is more popular than the other, things go sour. But in Kom’s case, her gallant hero was a lot stronger and secured about himself, than the run-of-themill mewling personalities. Not only did Onler become Kom’s pillar, he quit his job after the birth of their twins. Several years have passed, and the two remain blissfully married. Onler continues to make his family a priority and takes care of their children to let his exceedingly talented wife do what she does best—win. And with time, his contribution to her success has grown. “He is a loving husband and an outstanding father. Without him there would be no question of me having continued boxing.” After her Olympic victory, the Manipur Government announced a cash award of `50 lakh for her. She was also awarded a government job for which she admits being grateful. She also confesses that while the job has allowed her to live reasonably, life is still not a luxury. “It is only after the Olympic medal that we received financial support which would allow us to secure the future of our family,” she admits. But the Olympic medal has turned the tide to her favour. The acknowledgement might have come late, but it arrived. It has allowed Mary Kom to think of expanding her boxing academy in Manipur. She now talks about equal opportunity for all and encourages women to take up sports not for fun, but as a way of life. Despite all the hardships, she does not believe in frowning; after all she is a true sportsperson. We posed one last question, how confident was she about her chances, Kom says, “I always believed that I would win it. I was aiming for the Gold and apologise to the entire country for falling short this time.” We, too, apologise for not being more vocal—a star boxer, a super mom and a loving wife—there truly is something about Mary.